Thursday

hurts & ailments



There's a reason why you should watch the video for Hurts' debut single 'Wonderful Life' before listening to the song sans visual aids - that's the proverbial hypodermic needle containing the Image they want you to imbibe. The Guardian vaguely fell for it, apparently this is the return of 'clever lad pop' or something, except, hey, it sounds exactly like all the other pop around at the moment, the synthy bassy stuff, the heavy 80s drums, electro, distortion, seven kinds of Korg.
It's maybe a slightly worse Leona Lewis song at best, but it's Hedi Slimane-approved, skinny indie-worthy, harks back to (what the fuck, Paul Lester), "a period when it was OK to namedrop obscure literary texts in interviews and resemble gaunt, starving artistes masquerading as stylish Italian models or actors in pseudo-y French existentialist movies from the 60s".
Except, hey, haven't we moved on from that period and now embraced a slightly less shitty version of existence which is more about making vaguely alright music and not selling some romanticised, black and white, gloomy 80s ideal?
This is hype-mongering beyond, like, anything, ever - the website's painfully minimalist, there is Emphasis on Creating a Brand, but not in the normal shitty corporate way - this is actually self-conscious pretention. This is literally the worst thing ever not because it sucks massively, but because it's smug, swaggering, and has no value that could merit this. Lady Gaga can be arrogant because she did this. Hurts cannot.

Friday

Not getting bored of seeing the Wave Pictures and writing 'reviews' of them

The Wave Pictures - Relentless Garage, London, 30/10/09


The Wave Pictures are the backing band for the 'sweet tones' of Freschard (she said she was German but my friends were all sure she was French). Maybe the bar at the Relentless isn't the best place to judge her from. Maybe Stanley Brinks, who used to call himself 'André Herman Düne' but does so no longer, is not the perfect saxophonist to accompany her, either. But Maybe it's just the sound, or the relatively small size of the crowd thus far, or something. She could be really, really good.

The way Stanley Brinks commences is solo set gives you this, 'It's going to be really, really good' feel. He asks, "Do you watch television?", to no response. He tells us all, some of us a little bemused, that he does, sometimes, because he likes it. Then he plays his songs. My friends laugh. His songs are simple, and you might call them songs or ditties; he plays sans sax, and adopts a cigarette along with his guitar for a song which sees The Wave Pictures completing his little group, until it gets bigger, as Security are making a Big Deal out of his indoor cigarette-smoking. He finishes the song, gets told-off onstage by some woman and some Security man, declares that they've talked to him in the wrong way, says "Fuck you" to a sizable cheer and puts the cigarette out through the method of throwing it to the ground and stomping on it. His set ends with a sing-along to 'Things Ain't What They Used To Be', replete with the new refrain of "That's not how you talk to / Stanley Brinks / not how you talk to / Stanley Brinks". The band ends up with no Security man or woman (she walked off looking Angry), although Freschard is more than welcome in joining them.

Then, The Wave Pictures, finishing up some pan-European tour or other, headlining. Clearly having fun. Subdued behind Freschard, they start with 'Now you are Pregnant', sung by David Tattersall, singer and guitarist. And improvisational lyricist. The Wave Pictures tend to have this trick where Jonny 'Huddersfield' Helm sings this song, but he does not this time. Because sometimes indie rock bands will kind of have to say a gentle 'Fuck you' to the way they normally do things. The Wave Pictures have released a second album on Moshi Moshi and are doing singles from it and are about to tour with Daniel Johnston, and though a lot of the set tonight comprises of material from 'Instant Coffee Baby' (because you can shout along, and people do, to 'Strange Fruit for David''s "A sculpture is a sculpture, marmalade is marmalade - and a sculpture of marmalade is a sculpture, but it isn't marmalade", because this, and these songs, are brilliant), there's no 'Long Island' or anything.

There's 'Tiny Craters in the Sand', upon request. Perhaps telling of people's appreciation of 'the new stuff'? "I hope you like new songs", David does warn us. Or offer us. Or prime us. Or all of these. Jonny Helm, drummer, percussionist, etc., sings instead a song from David Tattersall's new solo record, although maybe it would've been better if David had sung his own song. Although maybe it wouldn't have.

New single 'Strawberry Cables' has been around for a while. A couple of years or so ago I first heard David Tattersall pine for "This is mine, it isn't anybody else's". But now the Wave Pictures are 'big' enough to go to see with friends, jazz friends, photography friends, whoever, and can be relied upon, and 'rock', and substitute into the song 'Kiss Me', in place of "John Lennon" in the line "I read your letter; it said 'I love John Lennon forever'", the phrase "Michael Jackson's 'Thriller'", and they get laughs for it, and they are consistent, later on changing "...how much you love 'Sgt. Pepper'" for "how much you love (contemplative pause)... 'Thriller'!", and they make jokes work, have a 'presence', are cohesive, and are pretty much perfect tonight.

Tuesday

on the eve of my Oxford Entrance Exam
i am reading through the
testimonies of people at UCL
so that i can say
'on the eve of my failure in the Oxford Entrance Exam
i was thinking about going to UCL
anyway.'