Too obvious, I know, but truly brilliant. Really, where would we be without V*CE? How would we know who to laugh at? There would be (dare I say it) random acts of unpretentious Happenings all over the world, there would be no order and chaos would grip the hipsters of the world. Spontaneous, logical choices! Totally fucking out this season, yeah? Yeah!
Highlights include :
- Laughing at ugly people
- Trivialising lesbianinsm (worse than FHM, worse than Playboy, this is actually self-aware, supposedly ironic degradation of maybe the worst lesbian ever) ps. the comments are hilarious, "HAIRY WOMEN RULE!!! 100,000 years women have been hairy, hairless is just a fad".
- Porn. Nothing more and nothing less. The third one's quite pretty, but WHAT IS THE POINT THIS IS IRRELEVANT DAMN YOU V*CE WHY DO YOU SUCK SO MUCH.
- More porn. Basically all of this is gratuitous indie porn. Really? Really. The worst thing about this is the male cameraman who has the most rapey voice ever, it will haunt me.
- Incest. "Here’s one thing us guys with no sisters will never get. How can you not want to fuck them—at all. Like, if you had a sister that looked like this and you walked into her room and she’s putting on long white socks how can it not just flash through your mind even for one second?" I really didn't think they would go there, but they actually went there. Good God.
- Blasphemy. 'Because God stopped being cool when Jesus died' and stuff.
- Something...about..tabards. 'It’s become the armor of cleaning ladies, café waitresses, and chip-shop girls', apparently. No 'witty' aside needed.
And to end, the most V*CE sentence ever, lifted from their truly delightful weekly mailout that I am still subscribed to because I need midweek cheer -
"See photos from the opening of The Vice Photo Book exhibition at the Jago Gallery in Shoreditch. "
shoreditch, VICE, photo, gallery, exhibition, opening...gah.
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