Remember the first time you read a book, and you stared at the letters so fucking hard you thought your eyes would pop out and your brain's trying to make sense of it all and you see a familiar word like 'and' or 'um' and you think, ah, joy of joys, I can make sense of this, and then some huge word like COMPLETELY hits your cerebellum and you think - right, that's it, i want a Froob, and you run away like the child you are. This is what happened on my first reading of Phil's review (fictitious? real? the line is so thin it's close to dissolution, H from steps could VERY WELL be moonlighting as the lead singer of The Darkness) Forget the barely-legible handwriting, that's How We Do on this cah-razy blog, if you can't handle it you might as well be wearing flared jeans and listening to Razorlight, you Daily Telegraph reader!
On one hand, the review is revealing - the shock of learning Frank Black's outright denial of the creation of the song, 'Atheist Incarnate' enough enough to make the most stoic men gasp in disbelief. On the other hand, it is cloaked in mystery - the side note proclaims that emos were sponsored by Judas Iscariot. What could this mean? Is Phil getting all biblical on us, or worse still, is he disrespecting the Pillars Of Our Society, the talented and affluent Emos we hear of in movies and television programs (see Hollyoaks).
The review is, at times, cutting - the new rave reference near its end could be seen to be a damning of all zeitgeisty trends, everything that people like us cling on to daily to ensure we aren't the ones at the Hadouken! gig wearing baggy jeans, without a flashy hat or corrosive glowstick in sight.
I shall end with a quote from a book I've just chosen randomly from my shelf - it's the classic, 'Men Without Women' by Ernest Hemingway, and I will try my level best to make a randomly-chosen sentence from one of its brilliantly-written pages apply to the words of this review.
"You'll sleep alright, I said," states the book, and isn't that really what the experience of reading Phil's review means to all of us? I, for one, concur that it does.
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