Unloading stock in Sainsburys in AdjposjpsbnI just opened my window in what must be the first time in two weeks in celebration of two interviews, only one of which I lied to get. I'm arguably more stoked to have a chance to talk to UCL about the personal statement I ripped from their 'recommended reading list' (I have 3 weeks to read and understand an epic poem by 'John Gay' which I thought was 'alternative' to Chaucer, as well as 'Jude the Obscure' by Thomas Hardy which so far is lame and half of 'Crime and Punishment' which I am dragging out because it is ace and 'The Death of Ivan Ilyich' which should be pretty easy and also a book by someone who loves Hackney called Iain Sinclair) than I am to have an interview with Sainsburys. I need to call them by 7 tonight, which means I need to form a diary so I can work out when I can go and tell Sainsburys why they should let me get up at 5am on Saturday to get a bus to Adjsjsjton and assist people who have issues with broccoli. Or whatever 'Customer Service Assistants' do. Regardless, this is going on my CV.
Having a job would probably be cool, although I think I'm managing to survive being 17 pretty fine without a source of income. My parents have lame jobs like 'full time church elder' and 'getting made redundant' and I couldn't get my act together to lie my way into some EMA money, so whenever I get invited to go to actual-London I constantly have to bum a £2 child travelcard, which normally means I have to shave my face.
I meant to shave my face so that I can go and see the Wave Pictures tomorrow night and so I don't have to get up before 5pm tomorrow, but for some reason I got held up because I was looking for microporous tape to mend the foot that somehow has become one massive blister since an unexpected and sweaty late-night game of uni-hoc yesterday. Less stoked about medical procedures.
Having to get a job at 17 is lame. I don't even especially need one right now. I have a friend who managed to lose my ipod and my huge, fun, super-big headphones and he still reckons he owes me about £60, which I'm not going to argue about, because that's £30 trips to London catered for, and maybe some tickets to 'Socialism 2009' or something.
Trying to prepare for an interview with UCL
- Read personal statement and list all the books you mention
- Realise you do not have copies of those texts in yr house. Panic. Google 'john gay trivia poem' and feel momentarily relieved; realise the poem is 500 lines long; panic again
- Make coffee
- Panic because yr family has decided it can do without the 'luxury good' of 'plasters'
- Begin to read the David Foster Wallace essay you mentioned in yr personal statement. Give up two pages in after googling 'intentional fallacy' and 'affective fallacy'. It was better last time, and reading Dostoevsky is turning out to more fun than reading about him
- Allocate remaining time before interview to remaining tasks, e.g. '3 weeks - read all remaining books'
- Shave
- Make coffee first
- Hear post arrive whilst in kitchen
- Check post, selfishly rooting for letters that look like they might be from a university
- Get disappointed to find only birthday cards for sister; get disappointed that it is sister's birthday tomorrow (mainly due to lack of present)
- Arrange with ipod-owing friend a 'shopping trip' for 'this evening' during which he will buy present (he will) for sister
- Drink coffee
- Decide to put 'calling Sainsburys' back as far as possible until '7pm tonight' deadline
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